I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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