Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
