Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
