I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
