yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
What changed your mind?
Being sober
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
