btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
