If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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