come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
