I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
