'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
