Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
