i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
