All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
