bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
