i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Please don't give away my fajitas
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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