Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
