she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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