My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
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