Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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