This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
