dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
