If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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