Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
