i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I'm getting married
To pizza
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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