She announced her abortion via fbk
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
These tits shall not be calmed
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
