I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
