Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
