im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
