So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
