i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Come share oat with me in your robe
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
