so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
