Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
