got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
