As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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