I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
