she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
