she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
