Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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