You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
