No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
