I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
