Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.

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(512): View more from Texas

they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed

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(757): View more from Virginia

No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire

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(810): View more from Michigan

He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.

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(805): View more from California

100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles

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(201): View more from New Jersey

I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass

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(503): View more from Oregon

My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.

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