well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
