Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
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