I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
