Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I love having hate sex.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize