so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Randomize
