I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Randomize
