bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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