just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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